Rant: Legally grey, morally just plain wrong traffic offences

So it seems most of my posts are rants, but it seems a lot of people rant, and a lot people enjoy reading rants (I know I do), so I thought I’d get something of my chest: people who do not understand the rules of the perishing road!

I’m writing this from a South African point of view (where in the civilised world we drive on the LEFT hand side of the road), so I’ll briefly explain the rules as I go along for people who don’t drive, or live somewhere where the traffic rules are different.

USING INDICATORS: people who do not indicate should be punished severely, like being hanged until near death or any other suitable unpleasant but ultimately non-fatal experience. Why, do you ask? Well, if someone is turning instead of going straight at an intersection, if you would like to turn you may do so because you and the person will both turn avoiding each other (see fig. 1).

Now, if the oncoming car indicates he/she is turning, both of you can carry on turning, saving time and keeping everyone calm. But if the oncoming car does not indicate, then you must wait for them to cross. This is all fine, going straight has right of way, no argument here, in a perfect world that’s ideal etc. etc…But if the neanderthal, idiot, scummy scum person does turn, that means you were waiting for them for no reason! This is the reason for road rage. For unnecessary violence. For cars being vandalised and set on fire. Heck, I was with a friend who was driving when this exact situation happened. When he saw the guy turning without indicating he flipped. I thought he was preparing to feast upon the blood of the innocent from all the anger he was outputting. I may have been slightly worried for my life.

Whew…I’m glad that’s out my system. There are many, many other minor rules of the road violations that cause me to experience violent outbursts, I’m sure I’ll get to them later. Now for a joke to cheer everyone up after that. It does play upon Irish stereotypes (no offence intended however) a bit, but I laughed out loud when I heard it (I refuse to use LOL…or YOLO):

“An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar at the exact same time. They all walk over to and sit at the bar at the same time, and at the same time they all order their own pint of Guiness. Once the pints have been set on the bar in front of them, a fly (3 separate flies) falls into each of the glasses at the same time.

The Englishman picks up his glass, sees the fly, puts the glass down and doesn’t drink the beer. The Scotsman picks up his glass, sees the fly, picks it out, throws it away and drinks his beer. The Irishman grabs his glass, sees the fly in his beer, picks it out and yells at the fly: ‘Spit it out ye bastard!'”

Jeremy

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5 thoughts on “Rant: Legally grey, morally just plain wrong traffic offences

  1. Urgh that is definately one of the most annoying things, people act as if using in indicator is one of the HARDEST THINGS EVER to use when driving! The amount of times I have almost been hit as a pedestrian because some genius decides he doesn’t have to use his blinker and I have to guess where the idiot is going! Oh and don’t even get me started on women drivers 🙂

    • My dad’s favourite corny joke is he thinks people are buying cars at a discount without indicators, and while I roll my eyes whenever he says that, I find a startling amount of truth in it 🙂 I can imagine you’ve had multiple near death experiences at the hand of motorists as a pedestrian. Heck, if I didn’t live in South Africa where you DO NOT trust any motorist while you’re on foot, I’d probably have had to have multiple full body casts :/ and women drivers in SUVs, there’s a group worthy of rant all on their own 😛

      • Thats actually not a bad theory! 😛 Hahahaha definately, women should stick to their little cars, or not drive at all . . . . . like me haha 😀

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