Pop culture – Vampires

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For the record Twihards I am not attacking your beloved book series in particular, I’m speaking generally here (but yeah, I’m criticising it).

100+ year old men hitting on barely legal teenagers, girls offering up their own blood to feed their boyfriends’ hunger. This is the kind of stuff that seems to be popular with the modern idea-of-lovestruck teenage (and university student) girls. Which just isn’t right. Did you know that Edward and Bella’s relationship meets all the criteria for an abusive relationship according to American National Domestic Violence Hotline? That’s pretty messed up, at least by what I thought were my normal standards. And worst of all, it seems alright to kill people, feast upon them and go completely unpunished by the normal humans who know them. And why do the normal people find this ok? Because the undead murderer is trying to “fight the urge for blood”. In a just world the human’d drive a stake through the vampire’s heart, not fall in bloody love with it! And worst of all, Edward’s a cannibal. Now, you might try and make the claim he isn’t human anymore. But that’s a lie. If he can get Bella pregnant it means he has human DNA, ergo he’s human. Cannibalism!

The idea of vampires is not new. Ever since the Middle ages there have been rumors about them, mainly coming from Eastern Europe. Tales about undead creatures terrorising entire towns, the Devil himself incarnate, and flying creatures breaking and entering and committing aggravated assault on hapless women in nightgowns. This is the stuff of proper vampire stories. The kind of stuff that inspires people to train in martial warfare for years, honing their bodies and minds to perfection in order to do battle with evil undead creatures and save the world! Teenage angst should be nowhere to be found.

Not since Blade 3 have I seen a proper vampire movie (the new Van Helsing with Hugh Jackman was average I found). Blade, a half human, half vampire killing machine resists his natural impulses and kicks ass, takes names and saves the world. He doesn’t have time falling in love with people, he’s too busy saving us mortals from extinction! Not even the recent disappointing Dark Shadows changed anything. It had so much potential, but turned out half baked. Johnny Depp was good in it though, which is a plus.

All this while I should have been studying for my imminent exam. But I find it’s good to rant occasionally.

Jeremy

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